Dazed and Confused

This was the day the flood came. Floods are pretty rare here. This is the view from our window onto our neighbours yard which is coated with a layer of water.

Today I feel sick from the bug I've got and it makes me feel really confused. Like when I went to the video store I couldn't remember exactly what order everything had to go in (who do I talk to about a late DVD?, Do I have all my keys and money?) . The toxoplasmosis(a parasite that roams my brain, making it all upset and confused) comes out when I get sick so everything is worse. I keep dropping money, not seeing properly, forgetting whether or not I have posted something, can't sleep, etc. My reactions to people are weird, like I've had a semi-stroke and I can't quite connect with them. I'm sure I'll get better soon but it's hard.
Andrew's not well either - I think he's feeling a bit the same.
Yet while I am in this state, I get weird inspiration - I gues my brain is functioning in a different way. I can write and gain a different kind of knowledge from facts and general knowledge than I would be other wise unable to. I guess things are going at a slower pace for me so I see the details, the little things. My dreams at night are excited and seem to take me off into different and exciting lands which I love. It's like I get to explore the world for free. The imagination is a double-edged sword, if you're an excellent swordsman, you can win every battle and use it as a tool to help yourselves and others.

I did well at WW tonight althoguh I got a telling-off for eating way too much sugar - I seriously have an addiction! I eat 4 times (in a good week) the recommended weekly intake. Hmmm.


I would love to think the Lord (or somebody who loved me) would say this to me right now, it's what i need:

"Fix You" (Coldplay)

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
When the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you


Lights will guide me home, they will, they are. Little by little.


Love you Jesus.


Anna x